June is a bit late to revisit New Year’s resolutions, but “better late than never” is truly a valuable little gem to live by. I never learned to swim and I am registering for lessons which begin in two weeks. I never finished my last year of undergrad and I am currently taking classes. I also never got that damn six pack I was always so close to thinking of having. 😉 However, I’ve been finally cutting back on wine and pizza, and tossed in more power yoga and running so that I can feel better. I also took a little dive into dreams by becoming an APA (American Psychological Associates) “student affiliate”. Most women in their 30s who are APA members are most likely established in their positions as psychologists or something similar. I found myself joking to S last night that “it pays to take your time” because I will get a major discount to attend the APA annual convention this year – if I have time to go in my non-teaching/swimming/studying/drawing day-to-day hours, of course!
I have always been a “busy bee”, as my Dad would call me, and I have been so fulfilled in my life. Having that nagging feeling that I could do more, be more, have more, etc. has always kept me running until very recently. In my adult years, I have had one job that has truly held my heart and mind. Teaching preschool over the past 7 years has been a roller coaster and I have gotten off and on twice. As I returned to my school for the third time, my boss joked that I still didn’t beat the record. (Challenge not accepted!) I took this time to simplify my life, do and keep only what matters. This has been an ongoing battle for a multi-tasking, eye candy-loving, busy bee, but the steps along the way have proven so fruitful for learning and making space for bigger picture essentials.
Why revisit all of this now when it sounds like things are well underway at a productive and happy speed? I still need more. I tried to make space for the most important things and this meant that those important things would take up the most space of all – family, marriage, career, and well-being. When I’m exhausted at the end of the day and I am so ready for bed, this new deeper happy exhaustion is what will let me drift to sleep feeling whole. I began the year with many drafts and much research to blast this blog into space, but here we are at post #1 in June. It pays to wait. What would have been several sporadic notes has now been woven together into a more cohesive story to share. It may, at times, miss some proofreading and I am my harshest critic, but the words need to flow. Goodbye, perfectionism and fear. Welcome, mid-year resolutions.