Today, I find my introvert side beginning to crave more connection in the face of this pandemic. I waded through the early Covid 19 days and weeks with patience, vigilance, trepidation – ticking away the moments with an infant, going for walks with my husband and father, and mentally building a road to where my work would take me next. It dawned on me today that I’ve been anticipating, wondering, worrying, resettling, and adapting for a year and I am tired. The road to becoming a new parent has its own beautiful and complex load of life, but the past 12 months have been separately difficult. The picture of what my life would be like only a month into the future was so fuzzy for much of it and now, grasping at notions of what next week will look like seems impossible. Here we are in the fog. I feel like my knees could buckle, my shoulders could split apart, after holding all of what I had been carrying this past year. I could fall to the ground and crumple, but I can’t – and I won’t.
I’ve survived loss, uncertainty, and loneliness – all in varying forms and degrees throughout life. I’ve overcome so much – so many of us have. What does it look like on the other side? Every season of life brings challenges and these are unique to each of us. There’s always another side, another mountain to climb. Today, I’ll continue to take a pause, a deep breath, and another step, but I’ve exhausted my options within and I need more connection. Human beings are wired for social connection, for love, for touch. I miss teaching, chatting, hugging. It will come again.
With ample time to adapt, once again, I’ve dived into an old project that waited in the wings in my mind, waited for the time to be right. The time is now and it is so necessary. Maybe we were all craving so much more of each other, and of life, before this pandemic took over. This time is tender and our collective well-being may feel tenuous. Let’s connect, rekindle, find peace, and take action.
I have returned my focus to work, to doing something to make my little place in this world a bit brighter and filled with love. Pouring my heart and soul into it, Grace + Fire offers balance as we strive to navigate our new lives together. My 2020 Word of the Year is Impact – I wanted to do something big, with far reach. I didn’t know what that would be mean, but I followed my intuition. To work for something higher than oneself is a great honor. Solidified by recent events, it’s here. Grace + Fire is for you. Collectively growing, learning, and living is crucial to our resiliency, and to our new normal. Let’s Begin Again.